The New LS Urban Dictionary

with one apology to Rush Limbaugh

It seems we need to update our talkin’ a little Several new terms/ideas have crept into our language and probably need some ‘splainin’.

A Toobin (n) refers to an act of self-pleasure on a shared/public television or zoom screen. As in, “I saw this guy giving himself a Toobin in my morning meeting call yesterday.”

Can also be used in conjunction with the ZZ Top song, as “Toobin Snake Boogie.” Not to be confused with . . .

A Lewinsky, (courtesy of the late great Rush Limbaugh) (n) which refers to the act of receiving sexual pleasure from another, usually a female in a lesser position of power.

“Man, we drove by a convertible and this guy was getting a Lewinsky at 75 miles per hour.” It is possible to self-Toobin and receive a Lewinsky in a short period of time, if you have access to a camera.

Binger (n) is an act of self-immolation and/or career destruction out of sheer stupidity and badgering of someone else. “That lawyer just did a Binger in there.” Can be a verb, as in “He Bingered his career.” It’s possible one can perform a Binger by unexpected video of a Lewinsky or a Toobin, as in, “The DA was in good shape til the defense showed video of his Lewinsky, then he completely Bingered his own defense.”

Let’s Go Brandon, a popular phrase that is substituted for the more profane “Eff Joe Biden,” was unintentionally developed by a reporterette who deliberately tried to downplay the more caustic phrase by insisting the crowd was chanting “Let’s Go Brandon.” But now that Hoax Media has figured this out, such outlets as Facebook are trying to censor “Let’s Go Brandon” and sports networks are dampening crowd noise at football games.

So, under the right circumstances, someone on the left might Binger his career by getting a Lewinsky, then get caught with a self-Toobin, in which case the proper response is . . .

“Let’s Go Brandon!”